Goodbye 2016… no thanks for being shit

Right now is the time of year that people start reflecting back on the year that has been. It is the time where we look at all the highs and lows, because let’s face it life is like poker, sometimes we are dealt a good hand, and sometimes we are dealt a crap hand. Now don’t get me wrong, this year I have had some pretty amazing experiences and accomplishments, however overall 2016 has sucked! 2016 is a time I want to leave in the past. I am flipping the middle finger to 2016.

Why? Because unfortuantely 2016 kicked me in the face!

Let’s take a look at what 2016 dealt me, and what I learnt from it all…

I lost a friend to suicide…We were out celebrating, having a good night, enjoying ourselves, not knowing that our world was about to be flipped upside down. Finding out you were gone was such a surreal moment, I can still see every little detail to this day. Suicide is something that is extremely hard to explain to people, it is something that leaves us questioning most things. It is something that can leave us doubting ourselves, doubting others, all-in-all it is a pretty shit feeling. Even though it has been months since this happened it doesn’t feel real and to say I haven’t dealt with this loss is a bit of an understatement. I still have days where I except to see your face, but then I have other days where your face wakes me up in tears. No matter what I will always remember the good times, I will always send you my love, and I will always remember you.

Fast forward a couple of months, but not too far into the future and what happens. Bang! Another friend gone. Lost to a stroke. I swear it was only yesterday we were laughing and joking around, but it wasn’t. The thing that haunts me the most about this, is that my last words to them were ‘no’. No, I wouldn’t fight on your charity boxing event and, No, I wouldn’t bring you a coffee. A f***ing coffee! Are you kidding me? Why didn’t I just take him one? Losing two amazing people in a short period of time really threw me out. I put my time and effort into everything I possibly could, except for the one thing I needed most… to heal!

The other things are not as sad, but they still added up to 2016 getting the bird flipped on it more than once. 2016 was meant to be the year I broke into Muay Thai fighitng but I only got one fight, because I decided to get injured. And anyone who knows me knows that when I get injured I go all out! This injury not only place physical strain on me, but also mental. I am seriously messed in the head when I can’t workout the way I want to.

And last but not least, I had to let go of friends that I considered to be family. It really does suck when people’s true colours are revealed, are revealed they were. This is something I am not going to go into, but let’s just say it was definitely for the best, if this had not happened my career would be an absolute nightmare right now.

So enough with all the doom and gloom let’s take a look at a couple of lessons I learnt in 2016..

  • Collect memories and not things: After losing those two amazing people, I look back and wish I had photo’s of all the times we spent together. I wish we did more of the things we loved together. Stop being so obsessed with material items, and start focusing on what really matters…time with the people you love.
  • Tell people you love them: I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU! Say it every day, scream it from the rooftops, because there comes a time when it’s too late.
  • It’s ok to ask for help: I am superwoman…NOT! I like to think I can deal with all these things on my own, but the truth is I can’t. I tried, and I broke down. Know that it is ok to ask for help, know that it’s ok to be upset, it’s ok to be angry, it’s ok! The help I asked for was just to listen to me, to help me make a plan forward from where I was. Asking for help was the best thing I did.
  • It’s ok to take time out: I said earlier that when all these things happened I threw myself at absolutely everything. I was constantly busy, I was constantly pushing myself to extremes and this made me learn the very valuable lesson of taking time out. Taking time to relax, to regroup, to just chill the f*** out is so important. Make sure you always put some time aside for you, make sure you know that this down time is not only ok, but essential! c1sixtfp

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